How to Become an Encourager

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Years ago, while I was in the midst of some difficult circumstances, I met a wonderful woman who had committed herself to living her life as an encourager. 

We saw each other once a week at a Women’s Study Group and were occasionally able to have a few moments of private conversation where we would share with each other a little bit about our personal lives. 

Because she had committed herself to the task of intentional encouragement, every week like clockwork, I received a beautiful card in the mail along with a hand-written note of encouragement and assurances that she was thinking of me and that I was not alone.

There are people all around us who are struggling and could really use some encouragement. Sometimes all a person needs is a smile from another person. Other times we’re prompted to become friends with someone who needs encouragement (like my friend did with me). 

Often, we have good intentions that we never follow through on.  If you’re thinking (good) thoughts about someone, let them know.  Send a text message, email, card or note, or pick up the phone and call them. 

No one knows your intentions until you make them known.

My sweet friend didn’t know all of the details of my circumstances, but she intentionally chose to come alongside me to encourage me and to build me up. She chose to invest her time, energy and even her finances into my life. 

Her support and encouragement infused me with hope and helped me to realize that the difficulties I was facing were temporary and that I would be okay. 

Never underestimate the impact of what a kind word or gesture can have on a person.

Her life and example inspired me to intentionally become an encourager as well. It isn’t always easy. Sometimes it is a sacrifice of time, energy, patience and even finances. But it is rewarding. Not because the person you’re encouraging will give you something in return (because it has absolutely nothing to do with that) but because you feel better for doing it. 

Imagine what could happen if each person would put these simple things into practice and choose to intentionally become an encourager. I think we would change the world.

My friend was intentional about her intentions and it certainly made all the difference in my world and in the lives of my children. Because of my choice to become an intentional encourager, my children have grown into adults who know and show compassion for others. They have actually become unintentional encouragers because it was simply a way of life for them while they were growing up!

In a world where there seems to be more negative than positive, it’s easy to become jaded, guarded and discouraged. But when we choose to become an encourager we create an atmosphere of positivity and the world certainly needs more of that!

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68 thoughts on “How to Become an Encourager

  1. I love this! It always puts a smile on my face when someone tells me they have been thinking of me or praying for me, for whatever the reason. You make a great point by saying we should TELL that person if we are thinking it! It could make their day.

  2. This is beautifully written. I love the concept of being an encourager. It takes the focus off self and onto others. I think we find true joy when we are serving and encourging others, just like Jesus did.

  3. Excellent thoughts here, I try very hard to be an encourager and to lift others up. One thing I have to constantly remind myself (because I get caught in the comparison trap) is that another person’s success does not equal my failure. I can be kind and encouraging to others at no danger to my own success. It sounds common sense, but it does take an attitude adjustment!

    1. Absolutely. I think there’s a balance. Seeing the value in ourselves is just as important as seeing the value in others. Also, taking care of ourselves just as much as we care for others. It all takes a conscious effort but those efforts always have some sort of reward. 🙂

  4. Being surrounded by so much negativity in the world, I think we need more encouragers and those that see the glass half full and not half empty.

  5. I love this! It reminds me of a book by Dieter F. Uchtdorf titled “Forget Me Not” – such a simple flower that reminds us all to remember our brothers and sisters in this journey of life.

  6. Beautiful! Yes, why not us? I have a friend who embodies this. I always just thought it was a part of her personality (and I believe this is true), however, ALL of us can become intentional about this and spread the love.

  7. I am committing to being more like this immediately! This really warmed my heart and it is amazing what these words can do for someone. Thank you so much for sharing this!

  8. I love this idea! We all have down days and it can be surprising who is there to cheer us up. I love the idea of notes. I’ve had my bad days and people were there to encourage me. I am going to pay it forward now too.

  9. This is great! I try to let someone know if I’m thinking of them, even if it’s out of the blue. You never know what kind of a day someone might’ve had. Sometimes just giving someone 5 minutes of your time could change a life. Thanks for encouraging others to be an encourager too!

  10. What a wonderful message! I’ve tried to do something similar, although more personal, in my own life by reminding myself of all the things I have to be thankful for. I think I’m going to add intentional encouragement of someone else to my list!

    1. Thanks! I’m thankful for the woman who exemplified this in my life so many years ago. It isn’t always easy to encourage others (especially when we, ourselves, are in need of encouragement) but once it becomes a habit, it just feels good to do!

  11. There are many times when all of a sudden I think of someone who hasn’t been on my mind for weeks at a time. I’m really bad about picking up the phone, sending a text, or writing them a letter. Life gets busy, and I should remember that God put them on my heart for a reason. Need to do better. Need to do better.

    1. Life gets busy so don’t be too hard on yourself that would be counterproductive! 😉 When they come to mid, speak a blessing over them (whether they can hear you or not) and know that it will reach them! 🙂

  12. Wonderful post! Being kind has a double effect, we help others and we help ourselves too. This should be a daily to-do. Thanks for the reminder 😘.

  13. This is such a great reminder that we need to act on our instincts when we know someone else could benefit from encouragement. I’m going to implement it myself this coming week!

    1. Thanks, Sarah. It is something I learned nearly two decades ago and still (try) to do on a regular basis. Sometimes I slack but I’ve discovered that when I do (slack) I miss out on some wonderful blessings. With that said, I’ve also learned that it’s okay to take a break sometimes! Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. 🙂

  14. Lysa I love this post! You know it goes right along with my own life motto. Our world is so full of so much heartache and negativity why should we add to it. Keep spreading your joy!

  15. Love this post! It’s easy to say encouraging things but totally different to actually put those words into action. Your friend made an impact on your life by sending you those cards. Wonderful example and one we should all follow.

  16. Your story is definitely an example of how small steps can go a long way! We are so busy focusing on our own lives that we forget to be an encourager for others. This is something that I will be working on. Thanks for sharing!

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